Category Archives: Feelings

Things I knew, but took forever to ‘get’

The following things are concepts that, in reading them, are so blatantly obvious, but you have to fuck things up a lot to be able to actually ‘get’ them and change.

Ironically, this post is essentially of no value, because of the above.

  1. No matter how amazing your clarity of something is, no one really cares
  2. No matter how correct you may be, you can never tell anybody “You’re fucking up and here’s why”. It never works. People have to learn for themselves.
  3. You’ll never notice your own fucked up situation, until you end up having to discuss the exact same thing with a friend and say the exact things to them that they just told you about your own situation.
  4. Verbosity is always bad. Brevity is key.
  5. Observe, learn, research things but keep what you find to yourself1)This is the hardest one for me
  6. You are in the situation you’re in by choice. If you can’t see that, you need to learn to be more self-aware
  7. Similarly, people who go through something traumatic, will usually attempt to throw themselves into a bad situation. They will recognize and leave it when they are ready, and there is no way to ‘speed it up’ and never will be.
  8. Be sure you say what you mean. Stop and check your true motivations. In fact, just because you have to stop and check that, just stop whatever it was you were planning.
  9. Punishing yourself by forcing yourself into a bad and stupid situation serves absolutely no purpose. It never has, and it never will. You’ll be free from the thing that forced you into this, but it didn’t go away, and when it comes back it will be worse
  10. If you make a sacrifice, and it’s not asked for, nor even known, then why did you do it?

References   [ + ]

1. This is the hardest one for me

The first cut is the deepest and other emo post titles 101


(Editors note: I was kind of, sort of, really really tired and yet wired so this thing might not make sense – you’ve been warned!)

One of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do was learn how to protect myself.  No, not from physical harm, but from emotional trauma. In fact it’s a lesson I’ve only learned fairly recently. But really, to understand we’ll have to go back a bit.

Now I’m not sure why or where it came from – perhaps from being a latchkey kid raising my little brother while my mother worked 20 hours a day. All I know is how to mentor. How to get people to overcome their issues, conquer their fears, understand their own motivations and all sorts of other essentially useless parlor tricks.

Most people wouldn’t exactly consider this a negative ability. And it probably isn’t, if you are a generally well-rounded individual and contained the whole gamut of conditions that makes us human. One of the most basal and important instincts is to not allow your body to come to harm. You know, the ole “My hand is suddenly engulfed in flames, I best remove my fleshy bits from the source of ignition and take care of this”.

Sadly, this “don’t allow yourself to come to harm” doesn’t really apply to the psychological state. It’s more of a learned trait. Like when you learned “fire = hot” and then no longer shoved your face into a bonfire, your mind learns patterns that manifest into emotional harm and also tends to avoid them.

That is, unless you have one of those “good plague” traits; self-awareness.

Continue reading The first cut is the deepest and other emo post titles 101