Author’s Note: The following is probably a work of fiction and probably never happened, not even a tiny bit. So please don’t decide my fate in any matter based purely on this.
Chapter 1: Picture this
This is going to be hard.
Just to get to here required a pint of Jack. Most of this shit I don’t want to relive. But I feel like I have to get it all down. See if I’m the only one.
Ok. Let’s pick a number. Something fairly large. Something even. 1,000? Yeah, that’ll work. For the easy math, let’s just say I’ve been with 1,000 women over the years. No, that’s not the real number. Yes, it’s a large one. When god or whoever builds you sterile and resistant to damn near everything it gives you freedom. And hell. Sometimes I couldn’t tell the difference.
BEHOLD! It is the greatest wallet ever created. It was as though the heavens themselves hand crafted this rugged multi-function front pocket wallet and then allowed the brilliant bastards from Form-Function-Form take the credit for it.
It holds money cards and all of that other boring crap, but it also combines OTHER NON-WALLET THINGS INTO IT! Like what you say? Christ man, get off my back, I’m getting there and you’re impatience isn’t helping.
Err. I mean.
It combines a damn Fisher Space Pen and a friggin Moleskine Volant notepad into it! I simply have to have it. I mean, cmon, it combines the greatest pen and the greatest notepad 1)
Note: Pen and notepad are classified as ‘greatest’ only due to their retail price as compared to the same items from other makers
into a wallet, which makes said wallet the greatest one ever PURELY by proxy! If it actually works as a wallet, that is even better!
I’ve had my wallet in my front pocket for about as long as I can remember. Which was a bit of bitch back in the days before it was ‘ok’ for a dude to actually do that. I had to use your basic back pocket bifold/trifold monstrosity and it always looked weird and you could feel it with every step. Or you could use a money clip, which comes as no surprise is great for holding money, but fails at everything else. Though a lot of people used cigarette cases for their wallet, but honestly I’m not that smart and never thought of it.
So I just put up with it until everyone else started doing it, and then FREE MARKET CAPITALISM GO!
But even now most front pocket wallets kind of suck. They either use a gimicky magnet thing that is amazing at setting off airport scanners and de-magnetizing credit cards in said wallet. On the package, they proudly state that it’s for holding money. From my experience it will do just that, but lets hope to hell you carry no more than 3 bills around because if you do you are screwed! And really, why are you carrying untraceable currency anyway instead of using trackable credit cards as is the American way? Are you a damn commie?
Anyway, after trying many different front pockets, I finally settled on this one by Fossil 2)
Fossil is like the Daewoo of accessories. If it can go in a pocket, be strapped around a wrist/waist/leg, or in any way be added to your body, Fossil makes some version of it.
. It’s bifold, has a nice metal money clip in the middle, holds enough cards on the outside, and even some on the inside. Not super sturdy, but it works. They apparently no longer sell my exact version, so here’s a few pics
Anyway, ever since I’ve seen that Architect’s Wallet, I simply must have it. But damn it I always forget how much I covet it until I’m broke. So.. yeah… you can go ahead and buy it for me if you.
↑ Note: Pen and notepad are classified as ‘greatest’ only due to their retail price as compared to the same items from other makers
↑ Fossil is like the Daewoo of accessories. If it can go in a pocket, be strapped around a wrist/waist/leg, or in any way be added to your body, Fossil makes some version of it.
The following things are concepts that, in reading them, are so blatantly obvious, but you have to fuck things up a lot to be able to actually ‘get’ them and change.
Ironically, this post is essentially of no value, because of the above.
No matter how amazing your clarity of something is, no one really cares
No matter how correct you may be, you can never tell anybody “You’re fucking up and here’s why”. It never works. People have to learn for themselves.
You’ll never notice your own fucked up situation, until you end up having to discuss the exact same thing with a friend and say the exact things to them that they just told you about your own situation.
Verbosity is always bad. Brevity is key.
Observe, learn, research things but keep what you find to yourself1)
This is the hardest one for me
You are in the situation you’re in by choice. If you can’t see that, you need to learn to be more self-aware
Similarly, people who go through something traumatic, will usually attempt to throw themselves into a bad situation. They will recognize and leave it when they are ready, and there is no way to ‘speed it up’ and never will be.
Be sure you say what you mean. Stop and check your true motivations. In fact, just because you have to stop and check that, just stop whatever it was you were planning.
Punishing yourself by forcing yourself into a bad and stupid situation serves absolutely no purpose. It never has, and it never will. You’ll be free from the thing that forced you into this, but it didn’t go away, and when it comes back it will be worse
If you make a sacrifice, and it’s not asked for, nor even known, then why did you do it?
(Editors note: I was kind of, sort of, really really tired and yet wired so this thing might not make sense – you’ve been warned!)
One of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do was learn how to protect myself. No, not from physical harm, but from emotional trauma. In fact it’s a lesson I’ve only learned fairly recently. But really, to understand we’ll have to go back a bit.
Now I’m not sure why or where it came from – perhaps from being a latchkey kid raising my little brother while my mother worked 20 hours a day. All I know is how to mentor. How to get people to overcome their issues, conquer their fears, understand their own motivations and all sorts of other essentially useless parlor tricks.
Most people wouldn’t exactly consider this a negative ability. And it probably isn’t, if you are a generally well-rounded individual and contained the whole gamut of conditions that makes us human. One of the most basal and important instincts is to not allow your body to come to harm. You know, the ole “My hand is suddenly engulfed in flames, I best remove my fleshy bits from the source of ignition and take care of this”.
Sadly, this “don’t allow yourself to come to harm” doesn’t really apply to the psychological state. It’s more of a learned trait. Like when you learned “fire = hot” and then no longer shoved your face into a bonfire, your mind learns patterns that manifest into emotional harm and also tends to avoid them.
That is, unless you have one of those “good plague” traits; self-awareness.
Lately I’ve been missing having an outlet to talk about all the crap that’s been on my mind. So I’ve decided to recreate Pavleck.com and for the love of GOD try to post on it on a somewhat regular basis. Sort of like back in the 2007-2008 timeline, when I had a bunch of followers and was generally a much happier person. I can’t keep this shit in all the time and my friends are tired of listening.
So things will look a bit rough as I work on ‘pretty-fying’ the site, but instead of the normal “Make it look perfect and THEN write”, I’ll write as I make it pretty!